but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
