I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
