I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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