If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
