so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize