Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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