Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
