Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
