Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
