so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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