I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
