so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I believe in your delicious
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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