I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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