That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he thought i was a dude.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize