my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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