Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
