I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
