Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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