I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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