so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
