Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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