ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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