i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
