I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
