Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Porn is love you can see.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
