I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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