I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
