VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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