He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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