Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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