I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
