Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
