Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize