you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
