i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
