ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
