trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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