Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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