is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
