I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
