The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
