I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
