i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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