Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
