I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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