have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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