So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
