I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
