What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
