you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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