Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
