hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
