woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize