I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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