Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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