grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
