So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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