Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick

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(713): View more from Texas

How bad was it?

(1-713): View more from Texas

You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

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(325): View more from Texas

just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

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(970): View more from Colorado

You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.

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(805): View more from California

I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill

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