Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
