Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She said her name was "party"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
